My Guide to Being Classy


Manners maketh woman. Everyone has their own interpretation of what “classy” is, just as everyone generally has a pretty good idea of what “rude” is. Through my life I have cultivated a hefty mental list of do’s and don’t’s which have helped formulate my view of how to be classy. Is classy related to social standing? No. Is classy being able to afford designer brands and caviar? No. To me, being classy is a mindset. A mindset of elegance, poise, and value. You could be the richest person in the world and be completely classless. And while not everyone is perfect, perhaps you might be able to adopt one or two of these habits to incorporate into your own hefty mental list of do’s and don’t’s.


  • Be well-read
  • Stay up to date on current events
  • Say please, thank you, and excuse me
  • Stop saying sorry
  • Say hello to everyone you work with
  • Don’t overshare
  • Sit up straight
  • Don’t gossip
  • Be respectful of those around you
  • Always bring a housewarming gift to a new place

This was a short post today, but I feel like these points don’t need too much explanation. What makes you feel classy? Leave your comments down below!

Take car, and don’t forget to take your medications!

Fabfitfun Winter Box 2018 & Discount Code!

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Hello, friends!

I’ve had my eye on a few subscription boxes recently, but couldn’t decide which one I wanted to take the plunge on. There are makeup boxes, self care boxes, and skin care boxes, but I wanted something that was a little more than that. Winter can be a tough time to get through and I wanted to get something special for myself to combat the winter blues. Who doesn’t love getting a box full of surprises? And you don’t even have to leave the house!

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After much deliberation, I decided to go with Fabfitfun! I have purposefully avoided looking at spoilers online so I can be really surprised when my own box comes, although if you are interested, you can find reviews online.

Fabfitfun is a subscription box that offers full-sized beauty, fashion, fitness, tech, and lifestyle products. The box is seasonal, so it comes out four times per year. The box retails for $49.99 per season, and the contents are valued at over $200!

Subscription boxes can be expensive. Click here, use the code “joyful40”, and you’ll get $200+ in goodies for just $29.99! I just like the fact that it’s a box of cool stuff that I didn’t have to go to the store to piece together myself. Ain’t nobody got time for that when you’re lounging in your bed with no pants on!

If that code doesn’t work, you can also use “santababy” to receive $200+ in goodies for $39.99.

Stay tuned for a review!


Have you used any subscription boxes? I’d love to know your favorites!

Take care, and don’t forget to take your medications!

Paracosms | Playing Pretend As An Adult

For most of my life I thought that I was clinically crazy. I thought that by imagining a reality that was separate from my own reality, I was maladjusted. It wasn’t until I read an article online that I understood what I have been doing my whole life, and it was surprising. I didn’t know there was a term for it. To me, it was something that I couldn’t control. I entered into a paracosm when I was alone, every single time. And it reached a point that I soon began paracosming in public too. It was all in my head, I knew it, but it didn’t help to stop the delusions. I used it to cope with my depression, but it was a coping mechanism that I could not control.

Before I go any further, let me explain what paracosms are. According to Wikipedia, a paracosm is a:

“detailed imaginary world. Paracosms are thought generally to originate in childhood and to have one or numerous creators. The creator of a paracosm has a complex and deeply felt relationship with this subjective universe, which may incorporate real-world or imaginary characters and conventions.”

To my understanding, a paracosm is an alternate reality in which a person lives. It is also sometimes referred to as maladaptive daydreaming. After learning this definition, I began to think that maybe all creative people, or at least authors, had to paracosm in order to create worlds. Phew, maybe I wasn’t crazy after all! But the importance of my paracosm, and I think what separates it a bit from a creative paracosm, is that mine was linked to my depression.

On bad days when I was feeling particularly hopeless, lost, and overwhelmingly sad, I would often retreat to this alternate reality that I created in my head. There, I had developed characters, locations, and storylines. Sometimes the people I imagined were people I knew in real life, other times they would be characters from video games and tv shows. I would talk to these imaginary people through whispers or soundless movement of my mouth. When I paracosmed, the four walls of the room I was in disappeared, and instead I was in another world. I could have been sitting at a bar, or in a park, or a gun range. The locations always changed, and the characters did too. Sometimes I would dress up to fall deeper into the false reality.

Are paracosms a creative tool that artists and actors use to make their art? Or are they a splintering of the mind, linked with mental disorders, depression, and escapism? Maybe it is a little of both. Once I started taking antidepressants, I stopped paracosming, but before that I entered my paracosm well into my twenties. To me, it was a little more than “Playing pretend”. It was a way to cope with my depression and my discontent with my reality.

How does this differ from a schizophrenic delusion? I knew what I was experiencing wasn’t real. I was able to convince myself it was real, but I always knew I was the creator of this false reality. A schizophrenic, especially one who is not diagnosed professionally, often cannot tell the difference between reality and not. I do not claim to be an expert in schizophrenia, but I have gathered this understanding from research as well as the videos I have seen on youtube with people who have been clinically diagnosed.


How many of you think you have experienced a paracosm? Leave your stories in a comment.

Take care, and don’t forget to take your medications!

Top Songs This Month

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Happy December, friends! This year has flown by and here we are at the end. I hope everyone has been doing well and getting their goals ticked off on their lists. Does anyone listen to music to help them get productive? I know I do!

For some, music is life. This used to be the case with me as well, but I have recently fallen into a duldrom of music where nothing seemed to make me happy. That is until I stumbled across these few gems. The following songs have reignited that spark of inspiration that has been missing from my life for several months.


December Playlist

Don’t Stop – Little Violet

Cinnamon GirlDunkelbunt Feat Boban I Marko Markovic Orkestar

IC3PEAK – Грустная Сука / Sad Bitch

IC3PEAK – THIS WORLD IS SICK

Lorn – Acid Rain

IC3PEAK – СКАЗКА / FAIRYTALE

Viktoria Modesta – Prototype

Hobo Johnson & The LoveMakers – Peach Scone


My friend introduced me to IC3PEAK recently and I fell in love. Hailing from Russia, these girls have a cool witchy vibe about them. If you are or have ever been goth at heart, these guys will give you exactly what you need to amp up your badass goth game. It is highly recommended that you listen to this while driving fast on dark roads. Something cool about their music is…remember I said they have a witchy vibe? It sparked my inspiration into thinking how cool it would be to have a group of witches as musical artists who cast their spells with their songs, with their lyrics being the incantations. Wicked!


What have you been listening to recently? One can never have too many music recommendations! Share your monthly selections down below; any genre, any style!

Take care, and don’t forget to take your medications!

The Holiday Pocket

Is anyone else aware of this weird calendrical phenomenon?

The Holiday Pocket refers to the span of time between Thanksgiving and New Years. During this time of year, things feel like pure magic. Magic, and chaos. The egregore of the holidays can be seen in all the frantic shoppers and stolen moments of pleasure that cannot be attained at any other time of year. Whether that means having a cup of hot chocolate after a grueling day of retail work (spiked with a few shots, of course), or making a crafty gift for your family members, this time of year is truly magical.

Maybe it’s the way the string lights glow in the 5pm darkness and how cozy your feet feel in your favorite pair of fuzzy slippers. Or maybe it’s the moment where you watch someone you love opening a gift you spent so much time hunting for or creating. No matter what it is, it always feels different during this time.

The world is magical. And if you’re lucky, you even get to see some snow before Christmas or Yule! It snowed today where I live. It was the pretty kind of snow that didn’t stick to the roads, but coated everything in a glistening white. The snowflakes floated through the air; weightless.

And then the New Years ball drops, you go to bed, and wake up to the ordinary life. The spell breaks. You go back to your places of work, where the decorations have already been taken down, and you try to struggle through the rest of winter without getting too sad.

But for those few short weeks, everything feels elevated. Everyone shares in the joy of the holidays with parties, good food, visits to old friends, and presents. We each celebrate in our own way as the days grow shorter and the darkness grows longer. For those few short weeks, everything feels special. I love this time of year!

Tarot Deck Review | The Lovely Omens

Tarot cards have become super trendy within the last few years, and I feel that the rise in popularity is just beginning. It was on a youtube video that I first saw The Lovely Omens tarot deck. I had to pause the video, google based on what the deck looked like because the youtuber had not included the name anywhere in their video or the description, and after many hours of searching, I finally discovered the deck.


The Artist

It was The Lovely Omens tarot deck by Keely Elle. I was thrilled! And promptly went to add it to my cart…only to find that it was out of stock. Wow, this deck must be popular, I thought as I typed up a message to the artist. I had to know when it would be back in stock. I had to know if it was coming back into stock. And luckily the artist responded quickly with good news. She had reordered and was expecting the new shipment within the week. Delighted, I patiently waited until I could order.

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The cards arrived in the amount of time that was stated upon ordering, and I was pleased to know that was super fast. The packaging was gorgeous; pink tissue paper wrapped with black and white string and sealed with a wax pentagram. Inside the box confetti was scattered; halloween pumpkins, bats, and pointy hats. It was all very witchy. The inner pastel goth in me roared with delight. But that’s not all!

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Also included with my lovely deck was an art print which I have since framed and added to my indie artist collection, as well as a thank you card and a business card for future orders. This girl went above and beyond to ensure she delivered the best quality product, and the outcome was so far beyond what I expected. I will definitely be ordering from her again.

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The Cards

The cards themselves are great. The cardstock is thin, but sturdy, and they have a sheen that makes them easy to shuffle. Sometimes indie tarot decks can be sticky and not shuffle well. I love when a deck can slide around on itself, and this one is one of those. The art itself is breathtaking in its use of black and white minimalism, and the use of cats was also one of the reasons I had to buy this deck.

This deck would not be a good starter deck, as it doesn’t really have much information about the card meanings or astrological associations. If you already know the tarot meansings well enough, this deck would be a delight, but for someone just learning, I would suggest starting with a Rider Waite deck or Legacy of the Divine. In other words, a deck that clearly shows the meanings and association behind each card. This deck does follow the Rider Waite deck, but the minimalist graphics can be difficult to discern the minor arcana cards.

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I did two readings as soon as I got these cards and found, after a very pleasant and energetic shuffle, that these cards give a great reading. I got a concise answer with several jump-out cards that tied well into the readings. I can’t wait to use them again!


Do you have a favorite tarot deck? Or have your eyes on any new ones you’d like to purchase?

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to like and share this post, and don’t forget to subscribe for more twenty-something lifestyle posts.

Take care, and don’t forget to take your medications! 

How To Wear Jeans At Work

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Jeans are a topic of interest for many people who want to…wear them. *cough*

But how do you wear jeans in a professional or business casual way? Sometimes your place of work institutes “casual Fridays” or some equivalent. That doesn’t mean you can show up in your weekend pants that are full of holes and smell like weed. These tips and tricks will help you update your casual jeans to your work jeans.

DO’S

  • Do pick a dark or muted color
  • Do make sure they fit well
  • Do go with a skinny pant instead of a bootcut
  • Do remember to dress them up by wearing a nice top and jewelry

DON’T’S (Unless your work is cool with it)

  • Don’t wear distressed jeans
  • Don’t wear faded jeans
  • Don’t wear jeans that are too baggy
  • Don’t wear jeans that are skin-tight
  • Don’t wear a pale wash jean

Basically, the principle is to wear jeans without looking like you are wearing jeans. You don’t want to show up in your faded, holy, party jeans that you wear when you are painting your house or going to the carnival for corn dogs and overpriced stuffed animals.

They should mimic a dress pant, while giving you the comfort and feel of jeans. You can pair skinny jeans with boots, flats, or heels, depending on how dressy you want to be.

Jeans are also great to wear to work in the winter, as they are thick and hold in heat better. Pair them with knee high boots and a scarf for a classy winter work look. Stay away from wearing jeans with sneakers or tennis shoes, as those are not work appropriate, even on casual Friday.


For more fashion tips, including what “business casual” means, check out Wardrobe Essentials: From Casual To Professional. Do you have a favorite way of wearing your favorite jeans to work? Leave your suggestions or outfit photos in a comment down below!

Take care, and don’t forget to take your medications!