28 Life Lessons I’ve learned So Far

I turned 28 this year, and over the years of being a weird little adult, I have learned some pretty valuable lessons.

1. Stop giving your fucks out to just anyone. They aren’t worth it.
2. Wear the lipstick.
3. If it feels weird, get the fuck out of there.
4. Don’t let people fuck with your head.
5. Don’t believe your own bullshit.
6. Nobody cares.
7. Everyone is just as nervous as you are.
8. Sex doesn’t really change anything, it’s just like eating a sandwich or falling down a flight of stairs; it happens and then it’s over and life goes on.
9. The same is true for breakups; they happen and then you get over it and life goes on.
10. When in doubt, let him eat you out.
11. Keep your options open.
12. The age of a person is not equal to their level of maturity. Just because a man is thirty years old does not mean he’s mature, it just means he’s thirty years old.
13. No one has their shit figured out.
14. Sometimes as an adult you have to do things that really suck, but you also have the privilege of rewarding yourself with a tub of ice cream and your favorite sex toy when it’s handled.
15. If you have an opportunity to travel, take it.
16. You are not your job. Your job does not define who you are.
17. Most things are better in the abstract.
18. Never be the fastest thing on the road.
19. If you are going to be the fastest thing on the road, make sure you can outrun the cops.
20. It’s ok to be vulnerable sometimes.
21. Crying doesn’t make you weak.
22. Work hard. Nothing will change unless you make it.
23. It’s ok to cut out negative people from your life.
24. A good walk in nature can fix just about anything.
25. Don’t let other people define who you are. They don’t know you as well as you do.
26. Stop the self pity. It’s counterproductive.
27. If you act like you know what you’re doing, people rarely question it.
28. Pain is important. It teaches you things.