Sunday Pep Talk | New Year, New You


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Hello, friends. I hope you’ve all had a lovely holiday. 

They always say the New Years is a time of reinventing yourself, and I full heartedly agree with that! It has become the butt of every basic girl joke. Hashtag new year, new me! As they post an Instagram photo that has clearly been filtered and which will be followed by a bunch of snapchats of them puking in the toilet because they’ve embraced the new year a little too hard and couldn’t keep it all down. We’ve all been there, right?

No no, just kidding. All of the “New Years, New Me’s” are perfectly fine young ladies. And more power to them! Everyone deserves a chance to start over, and what better time to do that than at the beginning of a new year? Everyone has the power to change who they are; to be better, do better, reach out to those they hurt and start working on better relationships and friendships.

For me, in 2018 I swore I would get my mental health under control, and I followed through with that goal. I didn’t set too many for 2018. Just one. Get it together. Now, as 2019 rolls around, I am once again presented with an opportunity to make it a great year. What goals do I have in mind for 2019? Now that I have my mind straight, I would like to get my finances straight too. The wheels for this goal started rolling in 2018, but 2019 I will really try and focus on achieving the career goals I want. That means applying to graduate school. That means stepping into a leadership position and learning to manage groups of people. The old me would have told myself that these things were unachievable. The new me knows that if I work hard and stay focused on what’s important, I will be able to accomplish all of these goals.

What goals have you set for 2019? Whatever they are, I hope that you follow through with them and manifest the life that you want. You do have the power within you!

 

The First Rejection Hurts The Worst.

The first rejection hurts like hell. Everything after that is just fuel for the proverbial fire of productivity.

Do you remember the first time you’ve ever had a broken heart? Maybe you were a teenager in the midst of your awkward, geeky, emotional hormone-rich stage. Maybe it happened yesterday. It doesn’t matter when it happened. All that matters is that it did. This pain is important. It teaches you things. Most importantly, it teaches you how to wipe the tears away, get back on your feet, and take a few more swings at the challenge. Without the pain of rejection, we can never really appreciate the savory taste of victory.

Whether that rejection happened in love, in searching for your “dream job”, or while you were trying to get your novel published, everyone is going to get rejected at least once. Why this rejection happens isn’t important. What’s important is how you deal with it. You must decide for yourself whether you will be a person who gets back up and continues on the journey, or folds their hand and sits in a stew of self-pity and sorrow for the rest of their lives, holding on to the one arrow in their heart that was pulled out long ago but never seems to heal. Which one are you going to be?

The fear of rejection often stops people from trying. After all, isn’t it better to remain in your safe space where nothing hurts and everything is fine? Well sure, it’s nice to live there, but you can’t stay there forever.

As one of my favorite characters, Wolf, says in The 10th Kingdom,

“Well, you may not get hurt, but huff puff, you won’t get loved either.”

Eventually you’re going to have to venture out and take a few hits. Why are we scared of this pain? Yes, heartbreak hurts, but eventually you get over it. Go out there. Get rejected. Then go out there again and do it all over again, and eventually one of those tries is going to end in success.

When I was searching for a job I loved, my mindset was solidly rooted in the idea that a career was the thing that was going to make me happy. I thought that because I didn’t have a passion for something (or rather, because I had too many), I thought that I would never find a job suitable for me. That’s a very negative mindset already to have before you even start to apply to jobs. So naturally when I received my first rejection for a job after I spent the time and energy going through the interview process, I broke down a little. The negativity grew into thoughts like “See, why did you even try?” and “you knew they were going to reject you”. But after a while those thoughts began to fade. The pain and humiliation of being rejected began to fade too, and eventually I began applying for jobs again. After that, it became an exciting challenge. “Ok,” I thought, “let’s see if I make it to an in-person interview with this company”, I would tell myself. It didn’t matter anymore whether I was hired or not. The point was that I was doing it. I was getting my resumes out there and doing the thing that seemed so scary before.

The topic of love isn’t such an easy one. That is by far the hardest rejection to cope with. Going through a breakup is never easy. For the dumpee or the dumper. As someone who has been in both positions, no one ever likes rejecting someone or being rejected, but these are life lessons that you need to learn. If you’ve never dumped someone, I highly recommend it. Just because you are rejecting someone doesn’t mean you have to be mean about it. There are nice ways of letting someone down easy, and the best one is by being honest and communicating how you are feeling, honestly. By going through both situations (being dumped and dumping), you learn how it feels to be in both positions. That’s a great life experience. There’s nothing negative about that, if you learned from it.

Don’t be afraid of that pain or discomfort, because those are the situations that really matter in life. You have to take the good with the bad. You have to prepare yourself for heartbreak in order to gain love. You must consider the fact you may be rejected after you interview for that really awesome job just as likely as you are to get it. And either way, life goes on. Just remember that.

“Why did I let her in? Didn’t I know she was bad? I did. Of course I did. But I also knew that I couldn’t keep the door closed all my life just because it was dangerous. Just because there was a chance that I might get hurt.”

Snow White, The 10th Kingdom

The first rejection hurts the worst. Everything after that is fuel. Use it to light your way. Don’t give up. You will reach your success if you continue to try.


Stay strong, little troopers.

Begin Again, Never Over artwork by Chronographia, a local Pittsburgh artist.

Take care, and don’t forget to take your medications!

Sunday Pep Talk | You Define Your Own Life

I think everyone goes through a certain phase of their lives in their mid to late twenties where they are just wandering around blindly like a gerbil that escaped from its cage and got lost somewhere in the walls of the house.

There is a crippling belief that you are supposed to have your shit figured out when you graduate college, but the truth is that most people don’t figure their shit out until much later, if at all. If it looks like someone has their shit together, chances are they probably don’t. And if you think you don’t have your shit together, I assure you there is someone out there that looks at you and thinks you do.

What does it even mean to have your shit together in the first place? I think this is a question that each of us has to answer for ourselves. The norm in our culture is to get a good paying job using our degrees, find a spouse, pop out a kid or two, start investing, and wait until we’re 62 and old enough to retire and finally “start living”, whatever that means. That’s the norm, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that your life will follow that path. And that’s ok!

We are each on our own path in life, and just because your journey is all wibbly wobbly doesn’t mean it isn’t correct. It’s ok if you went to college but then decided not to pursue a career in the field you went to school for. It’s ok if you decide marriage just isn’t for you. It’s ok if you want to go off and do a really specific job that everyone is going to laugh at you for.

You only get one shot at living (at least that we can remember. Not getting into all that reincarnation stuff, because logically matter can neither be created nor destroyed, only transferred, so logically reincarnation makes a lot of sense, but can you remember any of your past lives? No. So for the sake of argument, you only live once). You only get one shot at this life. Are you going to live it for someone else? Or are you going to say “screw everyone” and follow your dreams?

It’s ok to be lost. It’s ok to not know what you want to be when you grow up, even if you are a qualified adult already. It’s ok to be a late bloomer, or a weird, unique blossom that doesn’t look like any of the other trees around you. Forget about the timeline that others have created. Follow your own timeline. Create your own life plan. Dare to be different and live the life you want to live. You are not running out of time. You define your own life.


Take care, and don’t forget to take your medications!

Bullet Journaling For Beginners

Hello, lovelies!

Perhaps you’ve seen the recent trend that has been sweeping the internet. Bullet Journaling has become quite The Thing within the past five years, and really, does anyone know why something becomes a trend? Usually not. But this is one trend that I totally get and fully stand behind. Bullet journaling can improve your life in the following ways:


  1. It keeps you grounded in the here and now
  2. It ensures you stay on top of all your important tasks
  3. It serves as a life tracker so you can look back and see how far you’ve come
  4. You can keep all your favorite memories in there, just like a personal journal
  5. You can track things like your moods, habits, and productivity
  6. It is a form of creative expression
  7. It is fully customizable so you can make it into whatever you want it to be

Are those enough reasons for you? I could keep going…

Stop Being Afraid Of Mistakes

Maybe you are one of those people who have always wanted to start bullet journaling, but the idea is just too daunting. It can be overwhelming to consider starting a bullet journal. One of the biggest things I had to overcome was my fear of imperfection. I thought that if I were to make a bullet journal, I’d want it to look perfect just like the ones online, and if I were to make a mistake I’d ditch the whole idea.

This is something that you need to overcome. Yes, you will make mistakes in your bullet journal, but it’s not like you’re selling it for money, or presenting it to a king somewhere. Your bullet journal is for you, and a few mistakes are nothing to fret about. When one of your lines wobble, or you accidentally write the wrong day of the week into your calendar, embrace it! Bullet journaling has shown me that it’s ok to make mistakes. It’s not the end of the world. You can just turn the page and start again.

I am the type of person who used to not stick to things. I’d start creative projects and drop them before they were finished. Next month will mark one full year of bullet journaling for me, by far the longest creative endeavor I’ve ever done. Why am I referring to it as a creative endeavor? Because to me that is mostly what I consider my bujo. Yes, it keeps me on track for real life and makes sure I show up where I need to be, but more than that, the important part for me is the creative act of drawing out each of the spreads. It is a way for me to vent my creativity in a productive way.

So where do you begin?

First, choose a journal.

This can be one of the hardest steps! There are so many to choose from. I recommend one of the following journals to start out:

  1. Moleskine
  2. Minimalism Art Journal
  3. Leuchtturm
  4. Lemome
  5. MAMBI Happy Planner

Supplies

Next, you need some stationary supplies. This could be as simple as a single pen. These are some of my favorites:

  1. Marvy Le Plume II Watercolor Markers (I bought these because I couldn’t find the infamous Tombows at my local Michael’s store, they work just as well!)
  2. Crayola Supertips (There is a little bleed-through, but for the price, you can’t beat these)
  3. A cool pen like this sweet cactus pen that wrote so well (RIP cactus pen, I will miss your smooth inky lines)
  4. A ruler to make your straight lines. A small ones is best so you can stick it in the front or back pocket of your journal.
  5. Cute stickers are always a plus for any journal. I buy stickers from many different places, but I’m really fond of Redbubble. You can find just about any sticker you want there!
  6. Washi tape! Is any bullet journal really complete without some washi tape? Washi tape and bullet journals go together like bullets and guns.

Spreads

Next, you have to consider which spreads you’d like to use in your bullet journal. Do you want it to be heavy on the scheduling? More to do with keeping track of all the meds you need to take and all the tasks you have to complete? Or maybe you want to focus on tracking your business progress or writing goals. Whatever your need, there’s a spread for that. And if there isn’t, you can always just make one up!

My go to spreads include:

  1. Monthly Calendar
  2. To-Do List
  3. Monthly Goals
  4. Expense Tracker
  5. Wishlist
  6. Mood Tracker
  7. Habit Tracker
  8. Notes
  9. Reflection

Those are my static spreads, the ones that are always there no matter what. The ones I need to function. I’ll often switch it up though by including some different spreads too, including:

  1. Digital Detox Challenges
  2. Word Trackers
  3. Quote Lists
  4. Blog Trackers
  5. Quote Pages (I throw these in sporadically depending on what I feel I need to focus on for the month)
  6. Travel Planners
  7. Gift Guides
  8. Memory Pages (I often add polaroids here)
  9. Brainstorm Pages
  10. Doodle Pages

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Bullet journaling is essentially a creative way for you to manage your life. You can customize your journal however you would like and really make it your own. Try different things and see what works for you and what doesn’t. And remember, your bullet journal doesn’t need to be fancy. It can be as simple as a journal and a pen. Don’t worry if it’s not perfect. Just make sure you make it yours.

I’m using the moleskine journal in beige. The cute stickers were found at my local target. And yes, I was impatient and didn’t wait long enough for the ink to dry before color coding my calendar so everything smudged. Oh well! That’s part of the journey of bullet journaling. Not everything is perfect, and that’s ok. I even wobbled the line on the border around my cover page for November. Oops! You can usually just cover mistakes with stickers, but I left it there as a badge of my beautifully flawed human nature.


Do you bullet journal? What are some of your favorite supplies or spreads? Leave your comments down below or link me to your bullet journal posts. I’d love to read them!

Take care, and don’t forget to take your medications!

Get to know me(me)


Hello lovelies! I figured it was about time to put a face to this blog, and to make a get to know me post to share a little bit about me. Is it better to remain anonymous on a blogging platform? Like wearing a mask, does it make it easier for everyone to relate to me, instead of just those who fit their lifestyle around what I look like and who I am? I don’t know. But I felt like the time was right to get personal.


Favorite book

My favorite book is Alice in Wonderland. I’ve read it so many times I’ve lost count. Alice is a character I relate to more than anyone. She is driven by imagination, yet has no idea what she’s looking for. In a way, throughout most of the story she is lost, and yet being lost means she encounters so many unique things. A bit immature, Alice would rather run off and avoid responsibility and the orthodox life set before her. I often wish I could escape reality, and find myself daydreaming most of my free time away. Much like Alice, I would rather be in a world of my own.

Biggest inspiration

The vision of my future self is my biggest inspiration and motivator. When I find myself taking a step backwards, I always envision where I was heading in the first place, and it helps to keep me pushing forward. One day it will be possible to reach the height of my halo. I just have to keep crawling my way out of the pit. And one day my future self will be me, and all the failed prototypes of myself will be left in the past. Each day I wake up inspired to work on myself and become better than I was the day before. Sometimes I fail, but these days I’ve been seeing a little more progress in that area.

Favorite Youtubers

I will admit that I watch far more youtube than I read of blogs, and that is because I’m a more visually driven person. The only reason I’m a blogger and not a youtuber is because I’m very good at writing and not so good at the talking bits. I find it silly watching myself after filming, and I often forget what I wanted to say in the first place. On a blog I can take my time to find the right words. That being said, I do have a ton of favorite youtubers, but I’ll just list my top three.

AN66SAw71AQHQkmu80B5mCeQhdPJObZSBAYJFZl7ig=s176-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj-moKiera Rose is by far the number one youtuber I follow. She’s a free spirited Sagittarius from the UK who inspires me when I’m feeling down in the dumps. I fell in love with her through watching her makeup videos. She’s just so pretty! And her makeup always looks flawless. She is one of my biggest inspirations to work on my appearance and be as radiant and gorgeous as she is. But her looks aren’t the only great thing about her. She is one of the funniest women online, with a down-to-earth super chill vibe that just makes you feel good watching. She always has interesting things to talk about, whether it’s her pet rats, vegan recipes and shopping lists, coping with anxiety, or her latest thrifting hauls.

AN66SAxBpa9PgYLTFTbUdiu4haNm-4o1E7DmQJsdEQ=s176-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj-moEmzotic is another favorite of mine. She is a pet-tuber and public speaker and her channel is all about animals! What I like so much about Em is that her videos are packed with information about the animals. Instead of just showing cute animals, it’s actually very educational. She is an animal educator in real life, so it’s only natural she knows so much about them, and she always has such a diverse range of animals to show and tell about. My favorite is Grinchy, her rescued red hornbill. And bonus weasels are also totally rad too!

AN66SAwDOx9hRe8aBWVGO3xqytoXZeDdKEo7gf6ogw=s176-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj-moThe Quietest Revolution is third on my list of favorite youtubers. She is a professional tarot reader and spiritual leader. She incorporates not only astronomical occurrences into her readings, but also just general life guidance and paradigms which make her readings so incredibly deep. She knows so much about the zodiac signs and really connects to each energy differently to do the separate readings. She talks so much in her videos, and it is all so substantial, that sometimes she doesn’t get to the reading until ten or so minutes into the video. But no one complains, because she always espouses wisdom!

Favorite Fictional Character

00/00/1939. Film "Gone with the wind" (Autant en emporte le vent) By Victor Fleming

Scarlet O’Hara. She is the good and the bad in all of us; the selfishness and the selflessness; the jealousy and the possessiveness; the desperation and the survivor. She doesn’t always choose the morally correct decision in life, but she does what she needs to do to survive and keep her loved ones safe. Being faced by impossible circumstances, she perseveres. And like most of us underdeveloped subspecies of humans, she falls into the trap of believing she is in love with a man just because he doesn’t want her, and as soon as he admits his feelings for her, she realizes that she doesn’t actually love him; she loves the man who has been nothing but supportive to her through it all. She’s not a character to be proud to be, but somehow she makes you think otherwise, because she handles difficult situations with such cunning and ambition that she makes it look cool. And how inspiring is her signature line? “After all, tomorrow is another day.”

What made you start blogging?

I wanted to keep track of my life progress but I also wanted to motivate people who might be going through difficult times in their lives. There can never be enough positivity, and the focus on mental health, depression, and wellness literature, I hope will encourage others not to give up. I also want to use this blog to keep track of my progress as an author, although posts about my writing have been few and far between. Also also, I wanted to be one of those super cool people who make blogging their full time job so that I never have to wear pants.

Zodiac Sign?

Aquarius. HMU fellow aquas! Pisces cusp, Sagittarius rising and moon.

Favorite Quote

“All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you.”

Biggest Fear

Choosing an incorrect choice in life. Committing to the wrong thing. Deciding on an answer that I am not 100% certain about. I have let this fear of indecision halt my life progress so many times. I want everything to be perfect, always, so when something presents itself as imperfect, I often choose to let it pass, even if the something is a good thing. Because I believe that there might always be something better out there in the future that I might miss if I commit to the something that has come along now.

Goals in Life

My ultimate life goal is to become a published author. I’m not sure yet which genre I’d like to tackle, but I have worked in fiction, fantasy, psychology, and poetry. I will have my first poetry collection up for sale on amazon by the end of the year, so stay tuned for that. My other life goals include getting married, having children, becoming an archivist or librarian in a research library, and pursuing a career in boudoir photography on the side. Yep, I’m a multipotentialite. I couldn’t decide on one career, so I chose three, plus a family. And slowly it’s all coming together. Very very slowly.



So there we have some facts about me! I tried to pick interesting questions for equally interesting answers, instead of generic surveys. Let me know if you have any other questions, and please leave a comment down below with some facts about yourself as well! I’d love to learn more about you! 

Take care!