Sunday Pep Talk | Trust Yourself


Hello, friends! I have a secret to tell you. I don’t actually have any new years resolutions yet. I know. LAME. But there are things I want to do more of, and less of. I just haven’t gotten around to setting them as goals that I will actively work towards achieving. I mean, I made blog goals, and intentions, but those aren’t quite as real as resolutions, which I take to be things you actively do in your life to change things. Just to recap, in 2018 I:

Made my bed every morning
Got my mental health under control
Started therapy
Began a new job

This year, the things I’d like to do are:

Take care of more plants
Monetize my blog
Take my photography business to the next level
Move into my own apartment
Buy a new car
Publish that book I’m sitting on

These are big things. HUGE things. Cars are expensive. Apartments are also expensive. But if I can get my other goals completed, that shouldn’t really be an issue. 2019 will be a year about learning I can do the things, and then just doing the damn things. I always make excuses for why I can’t be a professional blogger and photographer. Interestingly enough, grad school did not make it onto that list. It’s something I’ve been considering ever since I graduated from undergrad, but for some reason I just can’t commit to that. Maybe it’s because I feel like the surreptitious college scam is finally coming to light, the idea that you need college to make money, when really all they do is enslave you to student loans. Graduate school is a ton of money! Sure, I could do it, but would I be any better off than I am now? I may have a better job, but I’d be paying more on my student loans. It’s a giant catch 22.

So instead, I’ve decided that 2019 will be focused on what I can do for myself with my own God-given talents. Not everyone can write, or take pictures, or both. I know I can do these things, but 2019 will be about accepting that I can do them for money. It’s easy! And graduate school will always be there, right? I just have to trust that I am on the right path and that I will lead myself exactly where I need to go.

And you should too! Trust that you know what’s best for yourself. If that means totally changing careers or ending a relationship with someone who loves you but who you’ve fallen out of love with, do the damn thing. This is your life. You have the power to make it anything you want it to be. Remember that your feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s. So listen to yourself. Trust yourself!

Between obsessions

There is a select group of people in the world that have more than hobbies, they have obsessions. Whether it’s playing the violin, collecting old teapots, painting pictures of cats, or learning the ancient art of Shibari, these people focus on a normal hobby so much that they live, eat, sleep, and breathe it. It becomes their passion, their raison d’etre.

There is also a select group of people whose raison d’etre’s change from time to time. These people are called multipotentialites, and you can read more about them in my article, Are You A Multipotentialite?. People whose obsessions change over time tend to look at the world differently. Different than OCD, short for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, living with obsessions is classified more as a rapid learning habit wherein an individual devours everything they can about a certain topic or skill before abandoning it. Like a swarm of locusts that come through and clear a field of all edible vegetation, a person with obsessive hobbies burns through them until there is nothing left to gain, and then move onto something else entirely.

Before going any further, let me explain what this feels like, and how it differs from a normal hobby. Imagine yourself reading through a book. Some statement catches your eye, and in your mind you say, “well, isn’t that interesting. I’d like to know more”. You turn to your internet and begin a search for information that leads you down into a world beneath the surface, a world that few people know about. It doesn’t matter the subject, this fiendish search for knowledge can last anywhere from one month to a year, and culminate in the collection of objects as well as the change of wardrobes, mannerisms, and even personality. For the short amount of time that a person is cocooned amidst this new obsession, it seems almost as though they change into an entirely different person.

Of course, that is an extreme case, which is the primary focus of this article. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing! That’s how we get really interesting people who dress up like pin-up girls, just as one example of many. Those girls spend a part of their life (Or longer, depending on the length of the obsession) researching and duplicating those retro fashion and makeup trends. Not many people can do that. Only someone with a passion for it.

And then, let’s go back to our previous paragraph. So you find something that sparks your interest. You allow it to change your life. You change your wardrobe, your surroundings, your personality. You are not the same person as you were before discovering this totally awesome thing. And then, just as quickly as it seems to have begun, your obsession begins to fade. The novelty begins to wear off and you find yourself becoming bored. There is nothing new to learn. You’ve already performed, to the best of your ability, that which you wanted to duplicate. You are by no means a master at it, but you have reached a level of fulfillment within yourself that leaves you wanting something new, something more. The peak excitement begins to taper off into a valley that often feels very similar to depression. Not a chronic, long lasting depression. This sort of depression, characterized by boredom and discontent, only lasts until you find a new spark of inspiration, wherein a new obsession can grow.

This cycle continues throughout these people’s lives. I myself suffer from this roller coaster of obsessions and depressions. I have never known a time before this phenomenon, and so far I see no end to it. I am currently in a decline from an obsession that lasted for seven or eight months. That obsession was self-improvement. I have no way of knowing when the next obsession will begin. They usually come out of nowhere, unexpectedly. But when I am in the valley between obsessions, it is unbearable. The world seems small and uninteresting. There is a feeling of being outcast, misplaced, unfulfilled. This period of time doesn’t last as long as the obsessions do, usually only a few weeks to a month before something else sparks the passion again.

But oh, it is so unbearable living in the ridges between obsessions.

Can any of you relate to this phenomenon? I’d love to hear your stories!

Take care!

Are you a multipotentialite?

“I’m someone who has never been able to answer the question ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’. See, the problem wasn’t that I didn’t have any interests, it was that I had too many.” – Emilie Wapnick

I have always been the sort of person who had ten extra hobbies, and those hobbies would often change through time. For six months to a year I would become completely obsessed with a topic, learn everything there was to learn about it, and then drop it like it was hot, and I absolutely cannot let something go until I have exhausted my research in that area, until I have learned everything there is to know about that topic. And more than that, I have always been worried that if I take only one life path that I will be missing out on so many wonderful opportunities. This creates a mindset of not wanting to choose anything at all, just like Sylvia Plath talks about in her book The Bell Jar: 


Before last week, I knew this about myself, but it never had a name. Then I watched a Tedtalk given by Emilie Wapnick, and realized that there was a name for what I was. In fact, there were many names–Renaissance man, polymaths, scanners. Discovering that this was a…thing, helped me to redirect my way of thinking from shame about never having one true calling, to acceptance. I never really allowed myself to be happy thinking that I didn’t have one true calling, because, as Emilie Wapnick states in her Tedtalk, society has romanticized the idea that having one set career goal is the only way you can be successful. But having discovered this, I can now move forward with my life confident in knowing that there is nothing wrong with not having one true calling. It’s funny how giving a name to something gives you power over it.

That is a concept that’s usually prevalent in fantasy stories. The naming of things. Well, now this thing has a name. Multipotentialite. If you are like me, perhaps this will give you power over your life as well. I think creative people all have this trait, to a degree. That’s why we are able to produce such unique art. No two people could ever possibly be the same type of multipotentialite.

So how do you know if you’re a multipotentialite? Well, for starters, watch her video below:

Then think about these questions:

  1. Do you often become obsessed with a topic and then grow bored of it after learning everything there is to know about it?
  2. Do you often have several projects going on at once, and are able to juggle them successfully?
  3. Do you feel that having only one career path in life would be boring and not utilize your full potential?
  4. Do you have multiple hobbies that, in your mind, are more important to you than your job?
  5. Do you consider your job to only be a source of income while you pursue your real passions on the side?
  6. Or are you passionate about your work, but have multiple streams of income through different passions and jobs?
  7. Are you worried that if you take one job you might miss out on other opportunities?

I am not claiming to be an expert on this topic, but these questions are some food for thought. Maybe if Esther Greenwood, the protagonist of The Bell Jar (who is very much a reflection of Sylvia Plath’s own spirit), had chosen multiple figs, then maybe she wouldn’t have had to watch them all wither. Maybe it’s ok to pick multiple figs and enjoy them all equally. Discovering multipotentialitism has opened up a whole world of inspiration for me, and perhaps it could also serve to inspire you too.

So pluck a few figs and start feeding your soul.